Sunday, December 26, 2010

2010 Terms That Made Us Squirm

By Rob Kyff

Listen, my readers, and you shall hear
The words we overused this year.
Some were slang, and some were formal.
Let's just call them "the new normal."

The year began with "Snowmaggedon,"
Showing where we might be headin'.
"Cougars" we met and "Guidos" galore,
And not just at the Jersey Shore.

Amid the World Cup saturnalia
We heard -- my ears! -- the "vuvuzela."
In the Gulf, where fish (ill) swam
We focused on a deep "spill cam."

Ecologists were on the scene,
And soon we all were "going green."
When projects stalled or ran aground,
We just devised a "work-around."

Palin popped with quite a spate,
And none we can't "refudiate."
Always sharp and always fizzly,
She called herself a "mama grizzly."
In her verbal 'cyclopedia
Were brickbats to the "lamestream media."

Each pundit, scribe and news observer
Blabbed of "anti-incumbent fervor."
For these reporters, all declarative,
Every person had a "narrative."

They could never have a chat
Without remarking, "Having said that ... "
And they were always sadly hissing
Of some poor soul who'd just "gone missing."

Economists in hackneyed harmony
Would start each sentence, "In today's economy ..."
"Birthers" spoke out loud and hearty,
Pumping up the new "tea party."

In tirades that were never ending
They flayed and roasted "excess spending."
And when they thrashed "Obamacare,"
They gave Barack some more gray hair.
Voters deemed him sorely lacking,
And served him with a real "shellacking."

Facing Boehner, all tanned up,
The Pres told Dems to just "man up."
When liberals griped about this view,
Some said, "He's just not into you."

Then airline travelers, in a funk,
Screamed angrily, "Don't touch my junk!"
But in the end, we did repel
The worn-out phrase "Don't ask, don't tell."
From twenty-ten, I do surmise,
The term we'll keep is "compromise."

========

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.Copyright 2010 Creators Syndicate Inc
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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Jamaica Air Shuttle - love them!

Jamaica Air Shuttle saves a ton of time! I have used the service and find them efficient, courteous and reliable. They are not my client but I just had to share this great offer with you.


BUY JAMAICAN THIS CHRISTMAS!



Remember to Buy Jamaican and Eat Jamaican this Christmas - we have great, healthy fruits, vegetables, delicious sauces, condiments, meats.

Buy beautiful Jamaican gifts from Carby's, Craft Cottage, your neighbour who bakes, crochets, knits, local manufacturers of furniture.

Every Jamaican product you buy secures a Jamaican job.

Have a Blessed Christmas!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Reduce your speed!

Message from Dr Lucien Jones - Convener of the National Council for Road Safety

Pray for a big reduction in car crashes and fatalities. The Police have received 50 brand new speed guns. An intensive speed reduction campaign is now being conducted by the JCF islandwide, daily (night and day). They will be on highways, bad spots where crashes frequently occur and along roadways near to places of entertainment. They will also be on roadways near to events/fetes held over the Christmas season and new year .

They are also checking for seat belt use (front and back) and are doing breathalyser tests etc. Zero tolerance approach being taken by the JCF.

The JCF is now using a NEW fully automated traffic ticketing system (soon to be officially announced) which will easily detect drivers with outstanding tickets. Obey the rules of the road. Drive defensively. Look out for pedestrians. Don't become a statistic!

Please support this campaign for road safety by passing on / posting this message.
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Saturday, December 11, 2010

PRAYER FOR SAFETY ON OUR ROADS

By Dr Lucien Jones

Lord, your Word declares that "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty". And your inspired song teaches us that "Great is Thy faithfulness.....and that 'there is no shadow of turning with thee'.....and that 'All I have needed Thy hand has provided'.

Now Lord, on this morning our need is great, as in faith, and according to the needs of our nation, we have set a target for safety on our roads so that more and more of thy children would be rescued from death and injury, from suffering and tragedy. And Lord, the forces of evil and the carelessness of the human heart have conspired to thwart the efforts of your servants.

So we, desperate in our need, and trusting in your faithfulness, cry out to you the God of Jacob, the Holy One of Israel, the great I AM, to stretch out your Right Hand and protect those who use our roads. Stretch out your Right Hand Lord, according to your Word and protect us from the anger of our enemies, as we are helpless without your intervention. And we pray God even more, that as you rescue your people that your Name may be exalted and that Thy will may be done in this nation.
We pray this in the strong name of Jesus, by whose blood, all humans have been Redeemed (though not all have accepted this precious gift) and therefore able to approach you, a Holy God, with confidence, and appeal for grace and mercy in times of trouble. Amen

Dr Jones is the Convenor of the National Road Safety Council
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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Jonkunnu Baby

Mi Mother say it was a sight
That dark December Hartford night
When jonkunnu wheel into de yard
Beating all kinda contraption
Till she start feel contraction
Rolling calf dance wid pregnant ooman
Pitchy-patchy wid police
An me a jig into creation
A lively little exclamation!

So yu tek a big chance
When you ask mi for a dance
This quiet little lady
Is a born Westmoreland
Jonkunnu baby!

- Jean Lowrie-Chin
From 'Souldance'

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